Working Mothers

I applaud working mothers. I admire their devotion to, not only their careers, but to their family. It makes me so proud to live in a country where women can take front and center. I smile when I see women in leadership roles who’s confidence and power shines forth from their mere presence. When they walk into a room, you know they mean business.

I am a relatively progressive thinker when it comes to gender roles. Now understand that I am not harpooning on men. I am a man myself. Given that, I do agree that men and women can hold similar, if not the same roles. If a man wants to be a “stay-at-home-dad,” I say, more power to you brother. If a woman wants to be President or Vice President, I say, you go girl.

I was raised in a home with a working mother and father. My mother tried to be a “stay-at-home-mom,” but failed boldly. She got bored. Does this mean she didn’t care for her family? NO! My mom is the hardest working, independent, strong-willed woman I know. At five feet two inches tall, she’ll “bust you up.”

She reminds me a lot of Sarah Palin, devoted mother and Governor of Alaska and now Vice Presidential candidate. Devoted to her career as Vice President of a multi-million dollar company that her and my father started, she also cared for her family. I remember when my brother and I were young we stayed with babysitters when we were not in school. When we were old enough, if we were sick, we stayed home alone while mom and dad were working.

I believe this promoted independence and the ability to take care of ourselves at a young age. I was washing my own laundry at age 9, as was my brother. We both learned to cook at a very young age, balance a checkbook before we even had bank accounts, and both had jobs before we could drive.

So you can see my opposition to critics of the working mom. I give a big kudos to those mothers who work. I also give the same kudos to fathers who work. But I give an even bigger kudos to single mothers and fathers. There is a large amount of respect that must be given to those individuals who have no choice but to balance family and careers and have to play both mother and father but in addition play career man/woman. I give you a standing ovation!

Letter to My Younger Self

I came across a show which, given the circumstances, suggested that a certain person write a letter to their younger selves. Write a letter to yourself? It seems so illogical and useless. But, alas, I decided to give it a try, more or less to say that I actually did it. If you have not thought about doing this, I strongly suggest taking some time to do it. My fingers just kept typing. Here is the end result:

Dear Younger Self,

You think all the time about your future. As a 13 year old, you have it all together. Your family is wealthy, you attend a private school, you live in a very nice home with parents that love you, you get good grades, you never get in trouble, and you have no worries or stresses in the world. You know that you want to go to medical school and study to be a psychiatrist (odd profession for a 13 year old to strive for but, to each his own). You have your whole life planned to the second. You will graduate and complete your residency, immediately followed by marrying the ideal wife, and a couple of years later, you find yourself a father. This time in your life is so carefree and exciting.

My advice to you: prepare yourself! You see, you have a brain tumor growing in your head that, unbeknownst to you, will start effecting you in the next five years. You will go to college after your first brain surgery and end up on academic probation due to lack of studying and partying. You will change your major at least 6 times before deciding on one certain path. You will flunk out of chemistry; twice by the way, and never end up in medical school like you planned.

To put thing in another light, that future you had planned will be shot to pieces. But remember, things happen for a reason. You will get your head on straight, but it will take a swift kick in the pants to get it there.

It’s alright to stand up for you. So often you become the doormat in other people’s lives, that you completely disregard your own wants and needs. People will think you’re selfish when you begin this radical transformation, but it is much needed to maintain an adequate level of sanity.

It is alright to be yourself. You do not have to be someone different because you want to “fit in.” Fitting in is not always the right road to go down. Believe me when I say, it will hinder you and keep you from rising to your fullest potential. You will look at those more popular than you, you will long for their lives, but after a few years, find out that you are happier not being them.

You will become a pro at putting on masks. Break yourself from this. This temporary flaw will bottle up unhealthy feelings and emotions. Learn to take down masks. Learn that showing emotion is vital to your well-being.

Learn from your parents. Eventually, you will focus so much on not becoming one of them, that you actually become the other. It’s inevitable. You were blessed with two of the best parents a child could ever want. Understand that in the times you feel like you hate them and have a strong desire to disown them. You are actually learning valuable life lessons and, truthfully, developing into them. You should study your parents. They are successful, driven, fiercely independent, generous, kind-hearted, opinionated, strong, and most of all smart individuals. You should respect them more and heed to their advice.

It will be your greatest asset to learn this. If you do not get anything from this letter, get this: you will go where your eyes go! You will never be able to master driving, but you will master one thing. If your eyes stray from the road, you will end up there.

Derek.