Letter to My Younger Self

I came across a show which, given the circumstances, suggested that a certain person write a letter to their younger selves. Write a letter to yourself? It seems so illogical and useless. But, alas, I decided to give it a try, more or less to say that I actually did it. If you have not thought about doing this, I strongly suggest taking some time to do it. My fingers just kept typing. Here is the end result:

Dear Younger Self,

You think all the time about your future. As a 13 year old, you have it all together. Your family is wealthy, you attend a private school, you live in a very nice home with parents that love you, you get good grades, you never get in trouble, and you have no worries or stresses in the world. You know that you want to go to medical school and study to be a psychiatrist (odd profession for a 13 year old to strive for but, to each his own). You have your whole life planned to the second. You will graduate and complete your residency, immediately followed by marrying the ideal wife, and a couple of years later, you find yourself a father. This time in your life is so carefree and exciting.

My advice to you: prepare yourself! You see, you have a brain tumor growing in your head that, unbeknownst to you, will start effecting you in the next five years. You will go to college after your first brain surgery and end up on academic probation due to lack of studying and partying. You will change your major at least 6 times before deciding on one certain path. You will flunk out of chemistry; twice by the way, and never end up in medical school like you planned.

To put thing in another light, that future you had planned will be shot to pieces. But remember, things happen for a reason. You will get your head on straight, but it will take a swift kick in the pants to get it there.

It’s alright to stand up for you. So often you become the doormat in other people’s lives, that you completely disregard your own wants and needs. People will think you’re selfish when you begin this radical transformation, but it is much needed to maintain an adequate level of sanity.

It is alright to be yourself. You do not have to be someone different because you want to “fit in.” Fitting in is not always the right road to go down. Believe me when I say, it will hinder you and keep you from rising to your fullest potential. You will look at those more popular than you, you will long for their lives, but after a few years, find out that you are happier not being them.

You will become a pro at putting on masks. Break yourself from this. This temporary flaw will bottle up unhealthy feelings and emotions. Learn to take down masks. Learn that showing emotion is vital to your well-being.

Learn from your parents. Eventually, you will focus so much on not becoming one of them, that you actually become the other. It’s inevitable. You were blessed with two of the best parents a child could ever want. Understand that in the times you feel like you hate them and have a strong desire to disown them. You are actually learning valuable life lessons and, truthfully, developing into them. You should study your parents. They are successful, driven, fiercely independent, generous, kind-hearted, opinionated, strong, and most of all smart individuals. You should respect them more and heed to their advice.

It will be your greatest asset to learn this. If you do not get anything from this letter, get this: you will go where your eyes go! You will never be able to master driving, but you will master one thing. If your eyes stray from the road, you will end up there.

Derek.

The Best Part of Wakin' Up

Once again I find myself gripped by the peacefulness of the country; where time seems to creep by at the pace of a leisurely walk. It must be stated, to facilitate my lack of interest in waking early in the morning, that there is something to be said about sitting with a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee on a picturesque morning gleaming with a silent sunrise that can make a guy feel so settled, it’s almost unsettling.

My typical morning begins in my second floor condo in the suburbs of Lexington, just minutes from downtown. I wake to the sound of a high-pitched alarm on my Blackberry that can make dogs cringe with irritation. Many mornings start at 5:15am for a morning run lit by streetlights and lighted retail signs. Then my morning routine of showering, dressing, biblical read, followed up by my 20 minute dawning visit from Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira. The rush of my morning ritual seems like 5 minutes in total, when in reality its right around an hour.

Why do I never go and sit on my balcony? Why do I never take the time to relax in the morning? It seems like an oxymoron to relax when you awake in the morning. Maybe it’s my uninteresting view of other condo buildings and the neighboring small businesses and shops. Maybe it’s my lack of interest in the morning due to my “it’s a waste of time” mentality.

Whatever the reasoning behind my lack of interest, I believe it would behoove me greatly to take the time spent relaxing in the morning. I will admit it got my day off to a fascinating start. No television, no music, no computer. Just a newspaper, a cup of coffee, a porch, and a breathtaking sunrise to make me recant the Folgers slogan in that relaxation is the “best part of wakin’ up.”

An Artful Expression

I find it very interesting the ways in which we can express our creative sides; how many avenues can be traveled to articulate just that one, seemingly pointless wave of inspiration to the world around us. I saw a photograph taken by an ostensibly well known artist in his field of skill. It’s that cityscape of Seattle in that photograph that I evidently can not bring myself to critique; so awe-inspiring, I have posted this facet of artistic flair in a location by which I can stare with passion and utter amazement. I can feel that I am there. I can feel what the man behind the camera must have been feeling at that moment and in that setting. This brings me to my epiphany.

I was running in the country. It was dusk, just before the moon was visible. I decided on this run to go without the company of an ipod. I have rarely taken part in the ritual of “just you and the road” being that I reside in the city where traffic is pretty heavy. Typically I have companionship of The Afters, Ferras, John Mayer, Norah Jones, and a compilation of other popular artist. This made for a rather inspiring experience. No melodious symbol of pop culture blaring through the minuscule earphones setting a pace and the mood for my run. I am not accustomed to running in the country at dusk.

I start my run. I’m a little uneasy due to the rarity of being without my cardio cohorts. Then a sense of peace begins to manifest. Suddenly I realize that the music that I am hearing is locusts in the trees, a distant dog bark, and the sound of my shoes hitting the pavement. Stillness is all around almost as a perturbed sense of oneness. It was nice and all the while atypical for my taste.

As I am thinking about how the sky is a picturesque visual addiction to which I can’t take attention away, I am intrigued by a dark speck on the horizon next to a large reflecting pond. I get within clear viewing distance of the mysterious speck that invaded my concentration on the sky. It was a girl; a girl expressing her thoughts in an artistic manner. Aided by a sketch pad and a pencil next to the pond in the midst of overgrown grass and weeds was one of the rarest forms of artistic display I have encountered with my own eyes. It was obvious she wanted to be left alone. I thought about this scene I had encountered the rest of my mile and a half run. What must she have been thinking at that moment and in that setting? Was she seeing what I was seeing? Was she drawing something I was not aware of? Was she alleviating the stressed of her day on a sketch pad?

I’ll never know. I don’t want to know. That’s the beauty of art. One does not have to explain themselves no matter the type of artistic avenue they choose to travel. The important thing to remember is art is art. Writing, drawing, painting, photography, music, dance, it’s all art. And there is no need to question.